The conversation went like this:
Manager: Just for one day, I wish my employees would do their job without me having to watch over them.
Coach: What is stopping your employees from doing their jobs?
Manager: They just don't listen.
Coach: What are you saying to them?
Manager: I tell them what to do.
Coach: Do they already know what to do?
Manager: I think so.
Coach: When will you know for sure?
Manager: I don't know.
Coach: What would happen if you let your employees do their jobs without you telling them what to do?
Manager: I would lose control.

I think it is safe to say most managers have needs. The need for control is probably the most dominant. Control in the workplace is achieved by exploiting one of two human emotions: Fear or Trust.

Control by fear is triggered by a perceived threat. For example: "If you don't do your job, something may happen." Fear based threats in the workplace result in dissonance. The primary discord is between the manager's need for control and the manager's need to belong, wanting to be social with his/her employees. The secondary discord is between the company's external quality customer service initiatives and mission statement; and their internal policies for employee performance evaluation and promotion. Dissonance is the reason employees feel stressed and uncertain. The most common outcome is that the employee will become preoccupied with satisfying the manager's expectation in order to retain employment, thereby draining their motivational energy to fulfill the commitments and expectations of the customer. This shift of focus is so subtle that most managers don't know it is happening. When uncertainty exists, management and employees are unable to predict outcomes. The feeling of not being in control breeds fear. Also, fear with uncertainty activates passive-aggressive behaviors and inter-company politics.

Here are some indicators of a troubled workplace. How is your situation?

• Excessive sickness absence
• High staff turnover
• Poor communication between teams
• Bullying
• Lack of feedback on performance
• Incongruent work ethic
• Slow technological updates
• Lack of clarity of roles and responsibilities
• Dissatisfaction with non-monetary benefits
• Cluttered desks and office areas
• Working long hours
• Uncomfortable relationships among colleagues
• Lack of training
• Emotional or lack of decision-making

When goals are not being achieved and it's becoming a challenge to be motivated, management must take action. Here are five remedies which can be implemented:

1. Instill a sense of certainty. Share clearly defined policies and a visible chain of command that can react with logical and innovative decisions.
2. Create a prioritized list of projects and goals with distinct timelines and constantly monitor the progress of each task.
3. Provide an understanding of how things work. Encourage cross-training and mentoring programs at all levels. Use video to record meetings to share with the workforce.
4. Be able to predict what will happen. Define cause and effect relationships.
5. Know that people (including ourselves) and things require consistency for success to emerge. Stipulate Walk the Talk Management. Support both Bottom up and Top down participation in discovering solutions.

Traditionally, fear has been the key motivator to persuade employees to do the things management wants them to do. A better alternative, especially with the upcoming Y Generation, is to lead with 'Trust'. Let's explore trust as a basic human motivator. When we meet and need to interact with someone else, how do we decide whether our requests will be taken seriously? How do we decide whether this person can or cannot be trusted to behave in a certain way?

A simple fact of interpersonal relationships is that we assume that if people are like us, then they will both think and act in the same way as we. I'm a nice person and they are like me, then they must be nice too. This assumption leads us to believe that we can predict how employees will behave in the workplace. Consequently, many manager hire employees who are just like them. However, sometimes it creates an illusion or false picture. We overlook the fact that predicting behavior is not rational. How a person interacts with one person may be very different from how he/she interacts with someone else in the workplace. There are many explanations for this. Principally, it is our sense of 'trust'. Trust provides the emotional 'safety' structure where our need for control is comfortable, allowing us to conform to policies of those in authority without much resistance.

Psychologist Abraham Maslow defined a hierarchy of needs, with the particular revelation that when lower level needs are not met, then higher-level needs will be abandoned in favor of shoring up the deeper needs. A threat concerning future employment triggers the need for safety, at the same time it creates an encumbrance which the employee must permeate in order to develop their self-esteem and full potential. Fear is a form of negative hope. Using employment as a threat may actually work against what the manager is trying to achieve.

Take a look at the needs:

How does a manager attain control and lead using trust as a motivator? Trust is an emotion which is learned then earned. It is not assumed nor inherited. To earn Trust, the manager must learn to give up control to get control. As someone said long ago, 'Give, in order that ye shall receive'.

Give People Choice

When people exercise choice, they are controlling their environment. So give them a choice, ensuring that whatever they choose gives you an advantage. One of the most common sales closes is the alternative close, where you assume the other person is ready to buy, and give them a simple choice ('Do you want the red one or the blue one.').

Don't give people too many choices, because this makes the decision harder and can thus lead to a reduced sense of control. We make our easiest decisions by contrasting two things at one time; the best number of options to give is two.

Ask Open Questions

Closed questions do not give control. In fact they can seem very controlling. Open questions give people the floor, letting them talk. This can be a scary step for a manager having low esteem issues. But you are the person who asked the question, so choose the question well. A positively worded question will encourage the response you want. Just having the people talk is itself a great persuader. When people talk about something themselves, they are far more likely to believe in it than if they just sit back and listen to you. If you need assistance in how to structure a question to get the response you want, email Coach Nick.

Give People Tasks That Offer Learning Opportunities

The corollary of questioning is to give employees something meaningful to do that provides them opportunities to learn and contribute. When employees understand the purpose behind what they are doing and how it fits into the total scheme, they are motivated to discover innovative ways to do their job better. Employees who are given choices will also have a sense of control and belonging. As with questioning, when you are directing the action, you are still in overall control.

Reflect Back Acknowledgement

People often keep talking because they are not sure that you have really understood what they have said. When you acknowledge back to employees what they have told you, you show them that you have heard, that they have been successful, and that they have controlled their environment. What follows is that the ball will now be in your court and they are more open to follow your instructions.

Use these suggestions to build trust and rapport. It all narrows down to: How Important Is It To You? We often fall prey to our past life experiences. These experiences form the scheme in how a manager will manage his/her people. Management lead by trust requires a Try Harder mentality. It requires us to break out of our past life shell, into a new thinking. It takes practice, practice, and more practice. The upside rewards are abundant. You increase control. You gain confidence. And, you achieve a workplace attitude that breeds sustainable success.

~ Coach Nick Matyas © 2005

Email comments and feedback to Coach Nick Matyas at: nick@C2A1.com. Visit our website: www.C2A1.com. Nick Matyas is available for consulting projects, pre-employment and workforce assessments, training seminars, and performance coaching.